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I don’t want to be an influencer.

I want to be a beacon.

A place where someone can come for guidance, encouragement, clarity, or reflection, then grow and continue on to their next move.

I don’t want to be a permanent destination for anyone.

Well, maybe my husband. Lol.

But even then, I don’t think marriage is about one person becoming the whole map for the other. My husband is more like a companion beacon. He balances me. He covers what I overlook. He brings structure where I may bring insight. We are still two people, but we are learning to walk hand in hand.

That is how I think about my children too.

For them, I hope to be one of their strongest beacons. I hope they always know they can come back to me. I hope they know there is warmth, wisdom, correction, comfort, and safety here.

But I also hope they leave me.

Not in a painful way.

In a healthy way.

I hope they grow, stretch, question, explore, and find their own path. I hope they take the best of what I have given them, learn from the worst, and become fully their own people.

I can already see this happening with Amy. She is 15, and I can feel her pulling away to become more of herself. But she still gravitates back to me. She still checks in. She still returns.

Lily and Milo are different right now. At 4 and 2, they are still attached to me in that small-child way. My thoughts, reactions, and opinions still feel big to them. But even they are slowly becoming themselves.

And maybe that is the point.

A good beacon does not trap people near the light.

It helps them see where they are going.

That is also how I feel about writing, sharing, teaching, and reflecting. I want to offer what I have learned. I want to share my insight. I want to be useful.

But I do not want to be placed on a pedestal.

Hear me. Acknowledge me. Learn with me.

But don’t idolize me.

That is the part that makes me self-conscious. Not because I do not want to be seen, but because I do not want the attention to become the point.

I want my life, my words, and my work to point beyond me.

Matthew 5:16 says:

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

That is the kind of light I want to carry.

Not a spotlight.

A beacon.