Another Video Showed Up
I wrote in the last post about whether this blog might be something more—something God is inviting me to build. I talked about signs, calling, and that tension between stepping out and standing still.
Well—it’s now 12:17am. Technically a new day. And another video showed up.
Not the same one from the previous post. Almost the same message. Different person. Different platform.
And honestly? I would’ve chalked it up to YouTube’s algorithm—
But it’s not just YouTube. It’s been happening across multiple platforms and mediums. Different voices. Same invitation:
Create.
And maybe God is repeating Himself because He knows I’m still His smallest of children. Still wobbling. Still looking up, asking, “Are You sure? Can I really do this?”
The Real Issue Isn’t the Work. It’s the Consumption.
I’m not afraid of hard work. I’ve always been willing to show up, study, plan, organize, prepare.
The problem is consumption. I consume information. Options. Opinions. Podcasts. Books. I’ll research something to death—study it until it gets blurry. And by the time I’m finally ready to move—I’m paralyzed.
Maybe you do this too.
I tend to pull too many people into my decision-making. I want my mom’s opinion before I post. My husband’s approval. My dad’s read-through. Some sign that someone else thinks it’s good—because then maybe I’ll believe it is too.
And if I don’t get that feedback in time? I just don’t move.
Have you ever paused your obedience because you were still gathering opinions?
But This Time Feels Different
With this blog, I haven’t done that.
I write the post. I shape it. I don’t send it out to the family group chat or ask for edits.
I publish it. Then they read it—same time as everyone else.
It’s not that I don’t value their opinions. I love their insight. But I realized I was using them as a crutch. As a stand-in for confidence. As a way to hand off the weight of belief.
This time, I’m trying to carry it myself. Not because I feel fully ready—maybe you’re not either. But because something in me knows: it’s time.
OTS Reminded Me of This Too
I remember a moment back in Officer Training School—maybe you’ve had one like this.
I was the designated leader for a team exercise. And instead of making a clear decision, I turned to the group and said, “What do y’all think we should do?”
The instructors dinged me for it. I wasn’t leading. I was deferring.
A few days later, during another scenario, I caught myself doing the same thing—and I stopped.
I said, “That’s a great idea, but here’s what I think we’re going to do.” Even the instructor noticed. I had taken back ownership.
I thought I’d grown past that. But years later, I still catch myself reaching for consensus instead of stepping out with courage.
Have you ever waited for leadership to “feel right,” only to realize you were already being led?
What Ruth Reminded Me
Tonight, as I was journaling, a name came to mind: Ruth.
I used to read her story as one of loyalty—and it is. But now I’m seeing something else: she didn’t wait for approval to act.
Orpah stayed. That was understandable. That was expected.
But Ruth?
She walked into a foreign land, with no certainty and no safety net. She chose to follow Naomi and serve a God she didn’t fully know, in a place where she had no guarantees. She didn’t poll her family. She didn’t pause for consensus.
She just… went.
She created a new life. She built something from nothing. She showed up in the fields, day after day, and planted seeds of faith through her obedience.
She didn’t need permission. She had conviction. And that conviction became legacy.
What’s something you’d start creating if you stopped needing certainty first?
I’m Still Asking. But I’m Also Starting.
This blog started with one question: Should I turn this into something more?
Now I’m starting to wonder if the question isn’t the point. Maybe the answer is already happening.
I didn’t plan for this to become spiritual. I meant to build a professional site. But my faith-based voice has taken over—and maybe that’s the voice I was supposed to trust all along.
So here I am. Still asking. Still wobbling. Still one of God’s smallest children.
But I’m also starting. I’m moving. And I’m creating—anyway.
Rooted Reflection
Is there something you’ve been sensing—but waiting for external permission to create?
What would it look like to move forward anyway—not because you’re certain, but because you’re faithful?
Ways to Walk This Out
- Commit to a “create anyway” rhythm. Choose a time (daily or weekly) to make something—even if no one sees it yet.
- Replace permission-seeking with prayer. Instead of asking “Will they like it?”, ask “God, is this from You?”
- Study Ruth’s bold obedience. Reread Ruth 1–2 and journal where you might be invited to move without full clarity.
Closing Prayer
Lord,
You’ve repeated Yourself with such kindness.
You’ve whispered, nudged, and sent reminders through platforms I wasn’t even trying to watch.
Thank You for being patient while I hesitate.
Thank You for being near when I finally move.
I’m still small. Still learning.
But I want to create with You—not for praise, not for perfection,
but maybe because that’s what all of us were made to do.
Help me stop overthinking and start obeying.
Even now.
Amen.
If you’re holding a quiet calling but feel stuck in the loop of over-researching, waiting, or asking for signs—I get it. I’ve been there too. That’s why I created Breakthrough Mapping—a space to help you name what’s stirring and take a faithful next step, even if you’re still figuring it out.
May you feel the freedom to start—even while you’re still asking. And may your creating become worship in motion.
Leave a Reply