(But some days it feels like I’m barely holding onto it)

I watched a sermon recently called “My Mind Is My Weapon,” and the title alone sat me down. Not because it was catchy, but because it felt like someone finally said out loud what I’ve been trying to name for months.

Lately, it’s been hard to feel like my mind is something I own—let alone a weapon I can use. Some days, it feels more like a battlefield. Or a runaway train.

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I started going to counseling last year, not because something big had happened, but because the small things had started piling up in quiet, dangerous ways. I’d catch myself on my commute to and from work, shifting between exhaustion, overthinking, numbness, and panic. Like I was arguing with myself inside my own head. And I just thought: this can’t be how I’m supposed to live.

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And then came the moves.

In the span of a year, we’ve transitioned from North Carolina… to Alabama… and now preparing for St. Louis. My husband’s already there. I’ve been holding it down in Alabama with the kids—trying to be a not-quite single mom, but sort of single mom, while also working full-time, showing up for Guard duty, managing school drop-offs and fevers and groceries and breakdowns (mine and theirs).

All the while, trying to keep my marriage intact over FaceTime and tired texts. Trying to keep unity in our family while we’re in two places—physically and sometimes emotionally.

This isn’t a curated moment. It’s a real one.

Because through all of this, life has not stopped. Work hasn’t slowed down. Parenting hasn’t paused. Even faith—something that usually grounds me—has felt harder to access when my thoughts are racing and my emotions are on edge.

And yet—somehow—we’re still here. Still laughing. Still trying. Still showing up for each other. Even if my mind is tired. Even if the to-do list is longer than my peace feels deep.

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Scriptures That Are Helping Me Stay Steady

• 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (NIV)
  “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
• Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I’ve been trying to hold my mind more gently. To notice when I’m spiraling. To breathe before reacting. To re-center with worship, even if it’s just one verse sung under my breath in the car. To stop letting my thoughts run wild without supervision.

And on the days that doesn’t work? I give myself grace. Because no soldier wins every battle. But a wise one learns how to rest, reload, and stay in position.

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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but maybe you’re feeling it too: Not broken. Just tired. Not lost. Just stretched. Not weak. Just in a transition.

If your thoughts feel messy, heavy, or scattered right now—you’re not alone. You’re not failing. But maybe it’s time to take back your mind. Not all at once. But one breath, one boundary, one prayer at a time.

Because your mind is your weapon. And God’s not asking you to be perfect with it—just to stop surrendering it so easily.

Closing Prayer

God,
Some days I feel strong.
Other days, I feel like I’m unraveling by lunchtime.
But you are steady—even when I am not.

Help me guard my mind.
Help me slow down enough to notice when I’m spiraling.
Remind me that I don’t have to fight alone—
You’ve already equipped me.
You’ve already promised peace that surpasses understanding.
And you’ve already given me permission to lay down the weight.

So today, I give you my thoughts.
The loud ones.
The quiet ones.
The ones I don’t even know how to put into words.

Help me protect what You’re renewing.
And help me fight gently, but faithfully—with You.

Amen.

And when panic starts to sit in…

Here’s a simple tool I’ve been using to help re-center my mind when it starts to spiral. It’s called the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise, and it uses your five senses to bring you back to the present:

• 5 – Name five things you can see
• 4 – Name four things you can touch
• 3 – Name three things you can hear
• 2 – Name two things you can smell
• 1 – Name one thing you can taste

You can do this out loud or quietly in your mind. It’s not magic, but it’s a way to pull yourself out of the swirl and say: I’m here. I’m okay. I can keep going.

Your mind is your weapon.
But it’s also a place worth tending to—softly, daily, and with God’s help.